listening skills

Listening is the ability to accurately receive and interpret messages in the communication process.

Listening is key to all effective communication. Without the ability to listen effectively, messages are easily misunderstood. As a result, communication breaks down and the sender of the message can easily become frustrated or irritated.

If there is one communication skill you should aim to master, then listening is it.

Listening is so important that many top employers provide listening skills training for their employees. This is not surprising when you consider that good listening skills can lead to better customer satisfaction, greater productivity with fewer mistakes, and increased sharing of information that in turn can lead to more creative and innovative work.

Here are six types of listening, starting with basic discrimination of sounds and ending in deep communication.

• Discriminative listening. ...
• Comprehension listening. ...
• Critical listening. ...
• Biased listening. ...
• Evaluative listening. ...
• Appreciative listening. ...
• Sympathetic listening. ...
• Empathetic listening.

Common Barriers to Listening

There are many things that get in the way of listening and you should be aware of these barriers, many of which are bad habits, in order to become a more effective listener.  Barriers and bad habits to effective listening can include:

• Trying to listen to more than one conversation at a time, this includes having the television or radio on while attempting to listen to somebody talk; being on the phone to one person and talking to another person in the same room and also being distracted by some dominant noise in the immediate environment.
• You find the communicator attractive/unattractive and you pay more attention to how you feel about the communicator and their physical appearance than to what they are saying. Perhaps you simply don't like the speaker - you may mentally argue with the speaker and be fast to criticise, either verbally or in your head.
• You are not interested in the topic/issue being discussed and become bored.
• Not focusing and being easily distracted, fiddling with your hair, fingers, a pen etc. or gazing out of the window or focusing on objects other than the speaker.
• Feeling unwell or tired, hungry, thirsty or needing to use the toilet.
• Identifying rather than empathising - understanding what you are hearing but not putting yourself in the shoes of the speaker. As most of us have a lot of internal self-dialogue we spend a lot of time listening to our own thoughts and feelings - it can be difficult to switch the focus from 'I' or 'me' to 'them' or 'you'. Effective listening involves opening your mind to the views of others and attempting to feel empathetic. (See our page: What is Empathy? for more information)
• Sympathising rather than empathising - sympathy is not the same as empathy, you sympathise when you feel sorry for the experiences of another, to empathise is to put yourself in the position of the other person.
• You are prejudiced or biased by race, gender, age, religion, accent, and/or past experiences.
• You have preconceived ideas or bias -  effective listening includes being open-minded to the ideas and opinions of others, this does not mean you have to agree but should listen and attempt to understand.
• You make judgements, thinking, for example that  a person is not very bright or is under-qualified so there is no point listening to what they have to say.
• Previous experiences – we are all influenced by previous experiences in life.  We respond to people based on personal appearances, how initial introductions or welcomes were received and/or previous interpersonal encounters.  If we stereotype a person we become less objective and therefore less likely to listen effectively.
• Preoccupation - when we have a lot on our minds we can fail to listen to what is being said as we're too busy concentrating on what we're thinking about. This is particularly true when we feel stressed or worried about issues.
• Having a Closed Mind - we all have ideals and values that we believe to be correct and it can be difficult to listen to the views of others that contradict our own opinions. The key to effective listening and interpersonal skills more generally is the ability to have a truly open mind - to understand why others think about things differently to you and use this information to gain a better understanding of the speaker.

Other common traits of ineffective listening include:

• Sudden Changes in Topic: When the listener is distracted they may suddenly think about something else that is not related to the topic of the speaker and attempt to change the conversation to their new topic.
• Selective Listening:  This occurs when the listener thinks they have heard the main points or have got the gist of what the speaker wants to say.  They filter out what they perceive as being of key importance and then stop listening or become distracted. (See also: Types of Listening)
• Daydreaming:  Daydreaming can occur when the listener hears something that sets off a chain of unrelated thoughts in their head – they become distracted by their ‘own world’ and adopt a ‘far-away’ look.
• Advising:  Some people want to jump in early in a conversation and start to offer advice before they fully understand the problem or concerns of the speaker.

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